The Stepping Off Place by Cameron Kelly Rosenblum

Author:Cameron Kelly Rosenblum
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2020-05-25T16:00:00+00:00

Now

September 1

The house phone rang. My mother answered. She came to my bedroom door moments later. I pawed for a pillow to cover my eyes.

“Reid?”

I didn’t budge.

“Reid?” A little louder. The floor creaked and she set something on my bedside table. I felt her sit on the bed. She jiggled my legs. “Can you hear me? The high school is opening this morning for students to gather. I have your breakfast.”

I couldn’t make sense of what she meant.

“Can you look at me?” She moved the pillow. I blinked in the light. She swept hair from my eyes. “Grief counselors will be there. It starts in a half hour.”

I rolled away. A gathering with grief counselors?

“It will be good for you to talk to peers. And professionals.”

She exhausted me.

“Why don’t you go, honey? Sam said he’ll pick you up.”

I thought of all the kids who would be there, most barely knowing Hattie, but sad and mystified and trying to make sense of it. And Charlie, Alesha, Max, and everyone who did know her better. They’d think I had answers—because I was the sidekick. I was the closest. And I really didn’t know a single fucking thing.

I thought of Hammy. I’d avoided him without realizing it fully. Now that we’d had the funeral, he and I both teetered on the edge of this black canyon of sad unknown that dropped into forever. Imagining our combined sadness made my heart squeeze into a small, hard rock. No.

“I can’t go to the high school.”

She shifted on the mattress, probably deciding whether she should force it. I waited, now smelling eggs and toast. My stomach rolled. She did her reverse sigh. “Well, Dr. Dankin suggested some counselors for you to see on your own. And Ms. Beiderman would come here.”

Beiderman? The school guidance counselor? I shook my head.

Her tone sharpened. “I don’t know why Uncle Baxter felt you needed to know the cause of death. If the family isn’t releasing that.” The words were shards of glass and I hardened myself. “It’s too much.”

“She didn’t do that. He’s wrong,” I said.

Her breath shook. She squeezed my hand. “Please try to eat, honey.” She left.

Apparently, I exhausted her, too.

I let my vision go fuzzy, looking at the leaves.

“Reid? What are you doing here?” Faye blinked behind the hostess stand.

I honestly had no idea where she came from. Without moving my face, I searched the surroundings. Shining carpet. Tomblike air. Oh yes. I’d come to work. To get away from my mother.

Faye came toward me. “You didn’t need to come to work today—the day after the funeral. I told your mom that!”

Jasper backed through the kitchen doors, pulling the coffee cart. He stopped short. “Hey, Reid,” he said, like I’d just come out of a coma. Had I?

We stood dangling in awkwardness for a moment. Then Faye remembered herself, rounded the hostess stand, and hugged me. She smelled of cigarettes and cheap hair product. “I’m so sorry.” She kept her hands on my shoulders. “What a fucking shit-hook deal.

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